Jogging…

For those that don’t know,

jogging is a bit like running.

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Only slower.

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Much slower in my case.

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However...

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It’s faster than walking,

quicker than ambling,

speedier than a brisk stroll,

one gear up from a trot.

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So therefore,

the boffins have declared,

it’s good for you.

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Even though,

when you choose to partake,

it’s not all a quick 5k,

then home for a liquid lunch.

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Your knees hurt,

it’s difficult to breathe.

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It sometimes involves Lycra,

which can be traumatic,

for the neighbourhood cats.

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And their owners,

who see you through the window,

as you lumber on by,

then are unable to finish their food,

such is the level of nausea caused.

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The local hoodlums see you coming,

throw eggs at your head as you pass.

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There’s a dog down the road,

that thinks you’re his lunch.

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You’ll be passed on a hill,

by an eighty-something jogger, named Jack.

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And his ninety-three-year-old wife, Irene.

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It’s true you’ll get fitter,

if you make it a long-term habit.

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But it comes at a price,

and it’s full of unnecessary risk.

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It is worth remembering its inventor,

the guy who popularised it at least,

died suddenly while out for a run.

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Of course, that could happen anywhere,

but at least if you drop dead on your sofa,

You’ve probably been enjoying the moment,

being inside rather than out for a jog 😳.