The English Disease…

There are many English people who are simply fabulous, some of them I'm lucky enough to be connected with on here. However…

Some English have a strange affliction,

they are basically better than everyone else,

or at least they tell themselves they are.

~

Just this very morning I was in a shop,

a bald-headed chap with a bulldog tattoo,

was explaining our superiority to himself.

~

We built this country, he said with pride,

won two world wars and one world cup,

all before the morning edition of Jeremy Kyle.

~

I thought about asking what he actually did,

but there's really no point engaging like this,

his brain will for sure be less active than his fists.

~

So instead I went home and wrote a poem,

I find that this is the best way to deal with clowns,

the pen is after all mightier than the sword.

~

He wasn't completely wrong, of course,

we are world leaders in moaning about life,

and there are no equals at queuing to get in.

~

If I was brave enough to give him some advice,

I’d have told him he’s no better than anyone else,

and that he looks ridiculous in Union Jack shorts.

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